Crawl Across the Sacred Circle and Take My Hand

On Winter Solstice, I hosted a Return of the Sun event at the local healing arts center where I do my Circles.  We had offerings and presentations all night long.   It was the first time I have ever done anything that large or public, so it was a stretch for me.

At the end of the night, a friend said, ‘Oh my, I needed this.  Let’s do it once a month.’

And I thought, ‘yea, right.’

And then I thought, ‘Yea.  Right.’

I’ve already started thinking about ways we could do it better and things we could change. 

I feel a bit like when I first started hosting Circles nine years ago.  I’m tired and judging whether or not it was worth the stress and effort.

But this time around I know it’s worth the stress and effort.

I brought my daughters who peopled the snack table.  The night culminated in a Circle.  Lots of ‘make do’s’: people who were supposed to come but got sick or something popped up, families in the hospital, scheduled surgeries, personality conflicts.

Messy bits.

There are a lot of messy bits in life especially right now.

If it were easy to build a new world, we would have done it a long time ago.

Before we started the Circle, one women said that she aways cries during meditation.  We said that’s fine.  And sure enough she did.  I had just sunk down into never never land of meditation, and I hear this wail erupting. Bubbling up. 

The woman doing the meditation immediately came over and put her hand on her back. The woman across in the Circle crawled over and put her head in this woman’s lap and held her hand.  I scooted over and held the other hand.

I shared a story at the end of meditation.  Many years ago, when I went to ALisa’s Starkweather Daughters of the Earth event in the middle of nowhere in a Massachusetts woods, the first thing I experienced there was this drumming, guttural singing and wailing.

We’re not talking crying, mind you.  We’re talking I’m in my tent at least a couple of football fields away, and there down the hill, I hear WAILING.  Multiple voices.  Multiple women.  Continuously.


Get a tissue.  See a counselor.  You’re okay.  Be quiet.  Take a pill.

That is what our society has told us, right.

Only sometimes its not enough, and you need a good wail.  And you need your friend to crawl over from the other side of the Circle and put her head in your lap and hold your hand.

And crying has nothing to do with strength.

I also heard a few times last night how very lonely and isolated life is nowadays.


Several moments during the event, when I was able to stop my monkey mind from logistics, I would have a ‘moment’.

My daughter asked after the event if that was crying that she heard during the Circle.  She was so curious she peeked through the curtains to see.

I said, ‘Yes, it was.  No big deal.’

My 13 year old daughter is in sensitive beginning highschool territory in a world full of cellphones, social media, masks and fear that I cannot even begin to fathom. 

They are on fragile ground this next generation, and we must do our best to share the lessons we have learned.  The objective is not all love and light and Starbucks cappuccinos and Lulu yoga pants.  Sometimes, the objective is to crawl across the Circle to take your friend’s hand in your’s while she cries.

And then five minutes later, we were laughing.  And then we were dancing.  And sharing.  And connecting.

If it were easy to build a new world, we would have done it a long time ago.

Invite a couple of friends.  Start a Circle.  Go to a Circle.  Host an event.  Find it or promote it on  When you register (quick, easy and free), you will be emailed any events like this in your area.

*All personal stories are shared with the consent of those involved.

** Altar done by Cynthia McGinnis

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