Something happened to me when I listened to a song yesterday Mycelia by Yaima Music which is about the Mycelium Network the largest living organism in the world underneath our feet, connected by synapses, communicating and assisting life.
I found that feeling.
The one where you know you are on Path.
Laney Goodman who just passed, I remembered her singing and drumming. I remembered being at ALisa Starkweather’s Daughter of the Earth events, meeting the hundreds of Priestesses that ALisa has brought together and trained over the years. Being in awe. Wishing I was a person who could do that.
I remembered that I Am.
“Starting to Hear the Earth
Standing to Heal the Earth”
If there is one thing that I have learned over the past nine years where I have developed and continually nurtured the divine feminine app, a way to connect us and promote the work of the Mother, sometimes through only sheer stubborn persistence, listening when Mom tapped me on the shoulder, pouring my time and attention and personal funds into promoting Sacred Circles, Women’s Circles, Mother God, Mother Nature.
You can do things you never knew you were capable of.
When you listen to that voice.
Sometimes I get caught up in being ‘successful’ in the way that our society has defined success: money in the bank, nice cars and homes.
But I know that is not true.
I bought ten acres of unrestricted land in North Carolina. I wasn’t sure why but I have been following that voice. It took me almost a year to find it and a lot of work. I would find different parcels of land and then drive the three or four hours to get there, and the Land would say ‘f’ you’ to me. Do you really want this?
Panic attacks, getting lost, sliding my car down the ice on mountain hills with ravines on either side.
One time having to get my car pulled out by a stranger’s four wheeler from the pine trees that I had backed into trying to get down off the mountainous dirt road. Nowhere to turn around on top of the mountain. Nothing to do but go backwards with pine needles accumulating under my tires and then driving into the trees. Getting stuck. Oh no.
No bra, phases of the moon t-shirt, ‘My Goddess birthed your God’ bumper sticker.
‘Crazy ass woman,’ I am sure that backwoods friendly neighbor who helped pull out my car thought.
Yes. But I felt he also knew my crazy was going to save the world.
He knew in the way backwoods mountainous people know the power of learning to live with the land and how often the best thing to do is just observe forces of nature.
I am learning how to be a force of nature.
“Starting to Hear the Earth
Standing to Heal the Earth”
I was with my 19 year old son when I finally found the parcel of Land to buy. He is the one of my children who most feels like he is in alignment with this New World being built. He is studying business statistics at the University of Cincinnati, is intuitive, connects with nature, has long hair, paints his fingernails black, lives with band playing roomies who write their responsibilities on dry erase boards and relaxes on weekend concerts with others like him.
He is happy. In a world of people who do not seem all that happy anymore.
I do not get to see him very often, but he was with me that weekend and when we turned on the dirt road to get to visit another parcel of Land for sale.
And I knew right away that I had found it.
I felt it. It hit everyone of my requirements, and I listened. And bought it. Even though it did not make ‘sense’ in my life at the moment and was definitely a stretch in a life rebuilding from divorce number two.
I listened anyhow.
It occurred to me sitting in meditation this morning as I do every morning that I did not buy that Land to have retreats on it.
I bought the Land to listen.
I bought the Land to learn how to steward.
And this is so very simple. Some of the wisest things in life are.
I still have a lot of holes in my life: a lot of unknown and unbalanced parts. But I am trusting more and more the way to find that balance. Listen. Sing. Drum. Meditate. Sit. Then Stand.
Find that feeling and follow it.
Decide who you want to be.
And be it.
