Lately, I have been inviting men to Co-Ed Circles. In the midst of a pandemic, and I get even more blank stares than when I have invited women in the past.
I will tell you that I am not coming on to you. I do not wish to date you.
I want to Circle with you.
What does that mean?
In November of 2013 when I was just starting to host Women’s Circles, I wrote an article for elephant journal in response to an email from my mother, entitled Seems to Me You Have Given Up on God, Mary and Jesus and Taken Up with the Occult.
In it, I worked through my fears of my mother’s accusation and came out the other end realizing that what I was doing was Mysticism.
Mysticism, according to Wikipedia, is the “pursuit of communion with, identity with, or conscious awareness of an ultimate reality, divinity, spiritual truth or God through direct experience, intuition, instinct or insight.” It goes on to say that mysticism usually ‘centers on practices intended to nurture those experiences.
Finding that divinity and ultimate reality is what makes life meaningful and bearable. Yes, there is church. And by all means if that is where you find it, I am all in favor. It can be a wonderful vehicle for finding meaning, love, growth and community.
But it does not work for all of us.
After my first divorce, I did not feel welcomed in the Catholic church. And I sought out progressive Christian churches which I resonated with more but I still saw this unbalance.
If I am made in the image of God, why is God a white male?
I would hear ‘inclusion’ statements but still what I saw was predominantly white men in front of large crowds teaching us.
We all need to see God in an image of ourselves whether that is black, brown, female or the multitude of other genders.
And how do we do this? If it is not church, how do we work out the angst of being a mortal, flawed, hurting human?
Some turn to drink and nightlife.
Last night, I took my newly turned 21 year old son out to a nightclub: life, pounding, loud, girls rubbing on each other on the dance floor, laughter. I used to be a daily drinker, but I do not need to drink any more as I have other ways to fill my cup.
The spirits you find in the bottom of a bottle will not nourish your soul.
Some turn to adventure: motorcyles, rock climbing, hang gliding. Anything that gets your heart pounding reminding you that you are alive.
Or clothes, shopping, huge homes and fancy cars. Our bodies may get old and die, but our surroundings, we will keep beautiful.
Again, not an answer that sustains.
And there is such beauty and wisdom in the old and worn. It is to be honored.
In the seven years that I have been sitting in Circles with women, I have seen incredible growth and sustenance. Not only have I changed beyond my wildest imagination, but I have watched the same time after time after time in others.
What is this magic?
Again, as my article says you need to get beyond the fear of looking silly. And even that is a worthy venture in itself. When have you last felt the freedom to be yourself, to sing, to dance wildly without needing to first lower your inhibitions through alcohol or drugs, to trust others to truly be yourself? To find and speak your unique truth.
To bring your unique gifts to the table. And to acknowledge others unique gifts.
New age, woo-woo, crystal loving hippies may not be your thing, but I am going to tell you that there is a reason why all of that has become so popular in mass culture.
I have gone to events in the past seven years, not ‘festivals’ but events and rituals where we created a container with a beginning and an end, and then we ‘traveled together.’
When you let yourself be vulnerable and find a group of people that you sink into being ‘held’. And I am not speaking of ‘Cuddle Parties’, I am speaking of the Soul beneath your skin touching other Souls. If you do not know what I am speaking of, then you have not experienced it. But you should.
Traveling this path over the past seven years, I have had moments at these events and in Circle of indescribable peace, connection and unity.
And this, this is the divine feminine: nurturing and recognizing all of her children’s strengths. Sensual and embodied recognizing the human shell we find ourselves in is happy when it is singing, dancing, howling under a full moon, making love, and we need this. We need all of these things in balance as much as we need our fruits and veggies.
Find Her – the divine feminine – in a Mystic Circle.
Again, I find that I have written this entire post but again have not described what exactly is a Mystic Circle?
It is a different way to communicate and ultimately to live. It is getting quiet and finding your own divinity deep within yourself. It is learning to listen 100% and be fully present. It is meeting in smaller groups, in nature, pausing, stepping outside all of the normal demands of life and paying attention to your Soul.
It requires showing up and coming again and again.
It requires being enough of a badass to truly look in the mirror and see yourself.
And perhaps one of the reasons that I cannot tell you exactly what it is, is because I do not know yet. Circles are formed by those who come, and I have just started hosting Co-Ed Circles.
She has been calling.
And I am listening. Are you?
Walk with me
I’ll tell you a thousand stories
Long ago given to the earth.”
Haseya by Ajeet